yodogawa

Finally, I'm coming back to my writing place. After the beginning of my podcasting, it becomes much more difficult. But I seem to have no other way. I made a cup of bitter coffee because I'd like to drink the bitter one.
There a lot of trivial information. I don like to be damaged by such ones. But my sleep becomes sporadic. I need deeper one. I feel listless.
Today, a new book came to my home. Once I was delighted, and I noticed another long travel began again. Because the book has more than eleven-hundred pages, and I'm going to read it page by page.

I think the number I return to this place becomes smaller and smaller. I need something different.
Because I've got a new book, I think I can go to the cafe. I may be able to spend around an hour there. My sleeping hour is out of the place. Usually, I have to wait for the time when I feel sleepy. The time is not fixed and usually delayed for a couple of hours by some work.
I noticed something lacking of.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 1:41 PM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

Something I don't know much lasts. I don't figure out that unreasonably. Rather, I leave it as it is. And after the sort of time have passed, I think about it again. If I've digested the problem enough, I can solve it or see some answer.
I may be in the first condition. I like the phrase, "leave me alone".

I went downstairs and made a cup of tea and brought it up to my room. Because the electric pod was lack of water, I had to pour much water into it and also had to wait for it to boil. Tea is milder than coffee. By such idea, I'm sipping the tea in the cup.

I'm in the condition of losing heart because I have to know I've lost something so important. But maybe, I still have some time till the certainty.

But I have to make conscious of that my lovely friend is coming back. That is sure. I'm worrying about that too much and such feeling seemingly kept going on.

Sometime I should have rest. And that might be now. It's time for my sleep. I can see another dream.

Posted by masary at 8:38 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

Because I don want to skip my blog, I came back here. I need to say something. Usually, people want to keep their blogs to say what they really want to say or what they cannot say in their daily life. And most of us are apt to have few opportunity. But I think such situation could be changed by the blog.
Recently, I like podcasting, both of casting and listening. I think that is another dimension of the blog. By that, it becomes dimensional.
By the podcasting, I got the chance to use RSS2.0. PodLisners are using this to assemble the information of podcasting.

It is Sunday today. I'll stay up at least till noon. After the lunch, I'll take a nap. It's better. According to the rumor in my house, it is warmer. Contrary to my plan, I'm already so sleepy. I take a nap after this. Whenever I release what heaps in my mind, I feel sleepy by getting relaxation.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 7:38 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I'm not vigorous for this while. Because it is the bottom of the season, I don't like to go out unless necessary. There are som works in front of my computer. Because I changed my rooter yesterday, I couldn't post my new entry of this blog. It took allnight and a half day long. I was exhausted actually. And today, I browsed some of my favorite pages and burned a CD to get some space of my hard disk. After that, I ate the dinner from three o'clock in the morning.The main dish is "lightly roasted bonito". I had some slices of those with the juice pressed from a bitter orange.
I returned to my room for this blog. Sometimes it takes two hours with my another blog of Japanese. I spent my hours day by day. And when I noticed, this January only has three days left. Until now, the time has passed smoothly.

And there is also some works as if I lose my senses. The quantity is huge but I should do it for my homepage. When I took notice, the pain of my letf side seems to have gone. It acually last for a couple of days. Because I feel cold of my feet, I put the electric mat on the floor. It warms up soon.

I need to take a bath after this blog.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 3:39 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I have a heavy stomachache. And it lasts so long. I'd like to recover my normal condition as soon as possible. But it seems to be difficult. Until then, I have to stand earnestly. I'm using the electric cushion. It can warm my ass. But it isn't effective so much. For the while I feel bad. There seems no good way to solve the problem.

"Out of the frying pan into the fire. " I don't know the real meaning of this proverb. But my situation is like this. I'd like to solve the problem thoroughly. In winter, I always have the stomachache or even diarrhea. That's not by the food but by the coldness. I'm using the knitted stomach band. But that's not enough. Or I use a portable body warmer. It is sometimes too hot and isn't natural for my stomach. I'm looking for some better way.

About the weather, the temperature sticks to the bottom and it is flying at the low altitude. I may have to wait for the time of the surfacing.
While I'm sitting, the pain increases gradually. So I walked on the corridor and saw the outside view for the diversion. Possibly, a tablet of medicine is effective. I try it later.

I tried that right now. I hope it takes effect soon.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 3:07 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

It also passed three-thirty in the morning. It was also a difficult day. And because it is too cold for me, I cannot go out right now. But I have to go to return the video to the rental video store by ten a.m. I'll go there after this blogging.
There was a long sleep after the influence of the previous day. Even if it wasn't a plain and quiet day today, I think I can be getting out of such condition after this. I'm just waiting for it. I'm just waiting for the new morning to come.
Little by little, I improve the relationship. It is actually step by step. I'm on the landing, but I never stop.

I deeply depend on this blog. It's emotional. I checked some homepages on my email. It's the place where I went more then eleven years ago. The place need around ten years to recover the original view. In this century, I can see the part of the view through the Internet. I thank for this new technology.
Little by little, my sleeping memories are waking up.
After seeing that for awhile, I put it back to the original position.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 3:35 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I'm almost stupid. I couldn't have my own time. I was robbed of my heart. I'd like to recover my normal condition as soon as possible. It's the beginning of my day to read the blog of my friend. I was waiting for that for so long. I was actually lost in the illusion or was too much affected by the influence of the day.
Until yesterday, I saw the movie of King of minami three times. Its sub-title is "System finance". I saw that movie three times for this week. I can borrow a video for a week.
In the movie, a merchant of a discount store pokes his nose into the system finance. The system finance in this movie is about some accommodation bills. Firstly the merchant bought one point four million yen bill by one-million yen for a town company up to bankruptcy. But the first attempt was just a bait. His junior in school invites him for the next system finance. It costs fifty-million yen. He used all the his saving money and borrowed another five million yen from the money broker "Ginjiro". The story starts from the scene.
In this movie, a lot of key rules of society appears. Usually one or two civil laws or commercial laws is put to solve the problem. And Ginjiro uses those as the weapon to beat the dishonest businessmen.

I like this series of movie. And I'm happy by this writing of the minute aspects.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 2:42 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

It takes quite a long to reform my homepage. I need to take some more time for my daily writing. It might be maximum for me to reform these pages.
I cannot share much of my time for this. But if I write this line by line, it actually takes a fixed amount of time. And I know I need to do that.
If I concentrate on doing that, I don't notice how much time has passed. Actually, for writing something, it is so natural to think about something a lot. And I know that is the way to organize my mentality and also a day.
It is not always east to get something to write. I don't think of it anytime. If I've concentrated on my work for much of my time, it is a bit harder because it is shorter for me to feel the hours of the day. But in this winter, I'd like to use much of time for reforming my pages. It's a relatively better season for me to spend my time at home.

In the morning I am hungry. I'll eat something before getting some sleep. Today, I can stay up more time. I'm not sleepy yet.
I ate a bowl of noodle. I temporarily got out of the starving condition.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 6:04 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I'm coming back to this place. It's actually regrettable. And I know I just have to wait for the spring to come. It might be very long days. And I seem to have to have agony days. It's quite difficult. But again, I'll look at my standing position. I know I need to change my mind sooner or later. And I also predict such days is coming at the day of not so far.
I'm not afraid of going out and collecting data so much because I don't have so many days. I know it's difficult to recover the one once I lost. I'll look at my living city and town. And I'll find something and join the place. It is not far, rather just besides me.
Why don't I love the city? I think I can do that. To do that, I'll see the poeple living there. I shouldn't lie down on the bed for so long. I have to do something like a 'contact'
Tonight, I worked much. It might be the good day of my begining. I think I can do a lot.

I didn't finish this yet. I came back here after a short interval. I'm making prepare for any. Today, I bought a piece of thick book for my next step.

podcasting here

Posted by masary at 4:30 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

While I'm dazed, it passed all day long. My time is getting into the final duty of the day 'blog'. I'm distracted by some silly news. Day by day, something is going on. I spent much time for that and delayed for doing one of my plan. I didn't finish it yet. It wasn't easy to get up in the morning, either. But it's much better.
Today, I ate much. I spent most of my time in my room. In winter season, it might be easier to stay in the room. And while I don't notice, it passed for so long.
My friend might catch a cold, might have swollen tonsils. It is similar as the symptoms of tonsillitis. I'm worrying.
Actually, the cold is going around especially in the big city. The commuter train users are apt to be infected.
Actually, I'm coming to the line. I'll do something tomorrow. It might have around one and half month in the winter. I cannot be in careless.

Posted by masary at 3:37 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I'm drinking a cup of orange juice. It's hot because I warmed it up by the microwave. I didn't find any tea bag and I made that after taking a bath. I took a bath for more than an hour. I had two days interval. Because of that, I felt very nice right now.
I might have to organize my phone numbers. Because I have new one, I'd like to cut an old ip number. I'll call NTT tomorrow or at least in this week.
I lost what I was thinking in the bath. Even in the early morning, I'd like to go to sleep soon. I'll feel better tomorrow. Time might organize my mind slowly and gradually. I'm expecting that very much.
I'm noticing something slow. It sound like the bell of the church. Very slow music. I'm just listening to it.
I finished the orange juice. If I passed the turning point, the handle became much lighter. I don't need arm power very much. I rather feel deflated. It might be light way.

It's already the third week of this year. Many things seem to come on the way I expected. It might be better. I can just go on the way step by step.

Posted by masary at 4:38 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I don have to hurry up. Let it be. For that, I try to write this English one at first. I know it is more difficult to write something in a foreign language than to write in my mother tongue. But I also think that if I try to do that and keep trying everyday I can write much more things in English. And I might have neglected doing that for so long. And I think this is the good chance to change my mind.
Recently, my reading theme has gone. And I read some books just for drinking some coffee. I don't drink a cup of coffee for reading. The priority is reversed completely. But I also enjoyed that. And even in such condition I can find some interesting books. Now, I read a novel of detective story by Kyotaro Nishimura. That suits me more than Jiro Akagawa or Yasuo Uchida. His novel don't use much sexual sean just for attracting readers. Such aspect also leads to my favorite movie "King of Minami". It's actually like a hard-boiled style. Probably, I'll read more books of his for some while even just for a cup of coffee.

Posted by masary at 2:41 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I went to the starbacks coffee tonight. It might be better for me to spend my time. Probably, I know the shop from its opening year. Around six years have already passed.
At the shop, I read some books. While then, I'm rather in the hollow mind with seeing the pages. I was actually reading that, but my mind is still on another way.
But it's OK because that was not my purpose. I'd just like to spend my time, thinking about something.
Now, I'm at home. And I ate a piece of banana and am drinking a cup of tea.
It becomes greatly difficult to write something in English. I'm losing the meaning to do that. Probably I have to find something.

Posted by masary at 1:18 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

It is always difficult to figure out something correctly. And once I got trapped by such something. If the rate of that exceeds a limit, I cannot move and am just able to be stood there.
Responding, I move. I also make a mistake. If I fell to the ground, I stood up. What time is it now, I think. I'm just doing the rehabilitation. Soon, I can respond to anything as in the normal condition. It takes just a little bit more.
It's inevitable. A lot of things are happening anytime at any places. And I also know, it is not always difficult to respond to such inevitable happenings naturally. Yes, it's rather natural.
I'm rather looking forward to seeing the next week and the next next week, too. And at that time, I'll recognize my normal condition. And I can be the real.

Posted by masary at 5:43 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I stand at the same position all day long. If I stay there, everything passed just beside me. It's funny phenomenon. "Don't move. If I move now, I'll be hit." It's the line of the old movie.
I might have think about something in the bath. It took almost one and half hour. I listened to the music CD once and a half.
After that, I saw a movie on video. It took about eighty minutes. 'The price of restructuring' is the title. The restructuring is the serious matter of the modern Japanese society. The movie is short and didn't described the matter completely. But two fired men took good performances. The older man took the role of the storyteller.
While listening to his talk, I'm in the heart-to heart mood. I thought, the pitiful figure is the real nature of men. I shouldn't try to look good. I'm rather able to be in the pitiful condition. If I can receive that, I don't have to be afraid of anything at all.

Posted by masary at 3:02 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I came back here, finally. This might be the final destination of the day everyday. I know it is difficult to manage to overcome even a day. There are mountains and valleys. I have to overcome those always and cannot escape from those or make a roundabout route.
So I usually get a sort of impression when I began to write an article for this blog. Day by day, we confront various problems to be unable to solve easily. The real matter is often left till the last. We apt to keep that at a distance or leave that till later. But no matter how much far we put those, those are never solved by themselves. Someday I as well as we have to face that and think about it seriously and have to solve it actually. Only by that way, I'm also be able to clear the phase and go to the next step.
Now, I'm in the face of one. I wouldn't put it aside later. I know the matter is bigger and bigger if I leave it there.
I just go on step by step like baseball. I think that is similar. It's one between a bat and a ball. If it hit that once, the way is never know before.

Posted by masary at 1:05 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I'm getting out of stressed condition by writing something on my Japanese blog. I can say anything at all on my blog. Nobody can interfere with me.
My blog is similar to me. I don think I can distinguish between them. Recently, my older machine is getting better by itself. I didn't fix it anyway. But the movement is rather much smoother.
I'm writing this with drinking a cup of tea. I don't know everything is going on as I think. I'm rather at home, enclosed at all. I might do a lot tomorrow because I've slept at all today. It might be around thirteen hours or more. So I'm not sleepy at all. But I'll try to sleep from now on. And I think it could be.
The clock is indicating 2:22. It might be lucky at all. If I call m tomorrow and m answered delightedly, everything will be fine. And now, I'm just expecting it at all.

Posted by masary at 2:08 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I'm getting out of difficulty. I run and jumped beyond such unknown place with closing my eyes and saying yeah.
Anyhow, my feet landed safely and I can walk.

Because it was a national holiday on Monday, the weekday begins from today. I don't know what week it is. But the view is better. I think I can go by those I made for these months. It's not bad. I can say anything at all better than ever.

I'd like to go to sleep from now on. Today, I chose the way of writing. It might be nicer.

I'll see the day from tomorrow more clearly. I don't know whether the days are different. But at least the way of seeing will be different because it reflects my mind. Anyhow, I'll go to sleep soon.

It was a good day today,

Posted by masary at 2:56 AM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

Always, it's battle with me for me to write something. I have to bring something from inside myself to this place. To do that, I also have to dig myself out blindly and sometimes madly. It's often like hard work. But I know, after that, that I can get out of sort of critical condition and come to kind of free space for the while. I know I need to do such repeatedly. But anyway, I've come up to the temporal place at last.
I sipped the coffee of Kilimanjaro blend. It's tasty enough although I made it at this breakfast time.
It's passed three-thirty in the afternoon. I'm looking forward to going to a place for my photos after a break after writing this one.
It's sunny even it it's temporary. I have already had a half load off, and I'm trying to have off another half. It's like a deed as running on the coarse way. But I also have confidence to run through it even if there is a thick bush.
For this while, I cannot even walk on the load because moving obstacles are rolling down to my direction. So I have to run step by step and usually by zigzag.

Posted by masary at 3:25 PM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

Increasing the time of reading novels makes me lead to some place. The fiction can be the soft and rather transparent barrier surrounding me. I don have to touch the real world at least for the while.
On the other hand, it's always difficult for the stories to be made up. I also need elaborate stories. Because one of the my reading novels depends on the real aspects of an age of society too much, I'd like to finish reading it as soon as possible. The background society has already gone in Japan.

Just because it was too cold in this evening, I had loose bowels. The dinner time delays an hour tonight. And I passed the lunch today, I'm hungry.
It's Friday night and one of the weekend days. Even if I'm enclosed at home in my room, the atmosphere is never bad. Firstly, I'd like to finish reading the novel and also like to read another one. That'll be much better.

I'll take a bath after dinner and go to sleep if I'm sleepy then. No matter how petty the story is, it's actually our story.

It's already passed eleven in the night. I've got sort of strong feeling.
I tuned the stove and warm up my room. I'm getting out of stomachache. And I also put a portable body warmer into the pocket of my jacket. It also warm up my bowels.
With that support, I drank a cup of hot coffee slowly. I read some books for the while.

Posted by masary at 6:28 PM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I've written half article in Japanese. The sentences didn't come to any conclusion. It's like a haze. And I came to this page. English rather has some logical aspects. I don't know it's good or not. But this order is sometimes better for my mind.
I took a bath tonight. Because of the setting of the water pump, the tab has almost full hot water. I put myself into the water and saw the water spit out of the edge.
I don like to hurry. I have still some days. For the while, I'm going to get up early. I'll just see the term day by day.

It's almost midnight. I might be able to get sleep for four or five hours. It isn't enough, of course. But I know I can take a nap in the afternoon. The alarm of my cellar phone is the one. I produced the melody. By the way, I can get up or it lessen the difficulty of waking up. After this cup of tea, I can almost fallen asleep.

Posted by masary at 11:39 PM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

it's strangely difficult to come here. And it is amazing that it's already '2006'. I think I lived for so long. And it is the tremendous future for me.
The year 2006. I can't imagine what is this year. It's too future age for me and completely beyond the range of my expectation.

Even if I'm looking at the things just in front of me, so many latest things are reported. I cannot capture what there are each by each. Most of them are actually beyond my understanding.

Is is awful or not. It's actually awful for me, too awful to bear. I'm actually brought to the different dimensional world. I cannot even tell the top from the bottom and the right from the left.

Can I see the happenings? Maybe or maybe not.

Posted by masary at 10:14 PM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)

I've passed Japanese Oshogatsu today. It was actually an interesting party.

Anyhow, the new year began over here. I'm going to go step by step as usual. And I might get the way to calm myself down.

I'll go to sleep soon. I can see another dream while then. My mind is floating in the air rather freely.

I've noticed that it's going on if I spend day and day. No matter how much look it has, it is similar as the air pressure all of us has. And the air pressure is supporting us from the explosion.

Sometimes unexpected way is correct. At first I walk on the way step by step gingerly, but after some while I can go on the way rather more smoothly. It is much fresh for me more for that I am not expecting for the way itself.

Posted by masary at 9:37 PM | permalink | comment (0) | trackback (0)